Occasionally I upload pieces of podcasts because they make a good point. Recently I have been listening to the Penn Jillette Radio Show, which has been off the air for a couple of years now, but I really enjoy Penn's love and compassion for others. At times he's out of his mind but makes many good points, one of which I want to share with you:
All of his jokes aside, I couldn't agree more. I get this strange impression from religious people on campus that these people are ONLY out to convert when they are talking to you. It's as if some of them have forgotten how to communicate with every day people.
One day, standing at the bus stop a guy noticed my chemistry book and began asking questions about it. What kind of stuff am I learning? What do I study? "MAN, I respect that. That's really cool," he said. Then two minutes into the conversation he takes a left turn and says, "So the reason I'm talking to you..." and then goes on to talk about Jesus.
I see what Penn meant when he says that he finds this type of behavior insulting. Don't start a conversation, act like you're interested in what I have to say, and then preach to me. That just made me feel like the first few minutes of the conversation were him trying to manipulate me to get my attention so he could give me his bullcrap speech about his world views.
On another occasion I had a Mormon missionary come up to me. He at least had his name tag on and dove right into the religion. The problem here was that he was too focused on trying preach the Mormon bible. If I asked him a question, he would tell a five minute story about Joseph Smith. I didn't care about the book of Mormon, I wanted to know what HE had to say. HE is a PERSON with THOUGHTS and OPINIONS. Start telling me stories that I don't believe, and verses that I don't care about, and my brain will turn off.
Ask me questions!
People get so inner-focused that they forget that THEY approached ME. If you really want to get someone to talk to you, ask them why you should be on their side. They'll start telling you their world view, and you can show that you can actually listen to someone. Maybe they'll return the favor.
People all have opinions, you just have to ask them what those opinions are. Then you actually have to listen to those opinions. Weird, huh? The times when I don't feel manipulated are the times when people walk up and say, "Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk about Jesus/Liberalism/Islam/Socialism/Animal Rights?" At least I know what I'm getting into and can opt out of the conversation if I want to.
I actually want people to try to convert me. I want people to say, "Here's why you should be a ________." If there is a compelling reason why I should be doing or thinking something differently, I want to know. I find discussing and arguing fun. I love when people prove me wrong.
That's how we grow and learn.
So remember kids:
1) Talk to people like human beings
2) Ask them questions about what they think, and then actually listen
3) Don't be afraid to give your friends crap
Just be real.
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I have to disagree, not all people have opinions or know how to say anything more than what they have been told to say. I learned that a lot in the mortgage world. The sales guys would know what to say to combat anything that came out of your mouth.
ReplyDeleteWe have Johovah's Witness that stop by about once a month. I have decided the next time they come by to ask, "Don't you believe only a certain number of people get into heaven? Why do you want to add to the competition?" I wonder what they will say!
I don't see how that's you disagreeing. Do you like it when a mortgage salesman talks to you like that? The point is that it's offensive when someone uses those techniques to try to make you think like them.
ReplyDeleteThe whole point is to be real, honest, and respectful.
If a Johovah's Witness came to my door I would probably talk to them for a while and listen to them and maybe have a theological discussion, because I'm weird and I like having these conversations. But what's to stop you from saying to the Johovahs, "I have no interest in your religion. I don't want to talk to you and I don't want you in my house?"
I see nothing wrong with you saying your line about competition. That's really funny, but expect that he'll have some sort of retort and be prepared.
I'm mostly referring to people who are condescending or talk to you like a salesman. If someone wants to talk science and atheism with me, then great, but I'm not going to talk down to you or follow some script where I fool you or don't let you talk. That I can't see us disagreeing on.