Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Franklin & Bash - Franklin vs. Bash


Welcome to the Pilot Episode Review of the episodes of TNT's mind-butt-fucking series Franklin & Bash. Through a series of unimportant incidences, I have agreed to become a fan of this show, and to comply with this agreement I've decided to blog about my experience with each episode.

Franklin & Bash - Season 1 - Episode ? - Franklin vs. Bash

Franklin & Bash - Franklin vs. Bash

We are first enticed with an establishing shot of whatever the hell city they live in. Crazy fuckin' squeely metal is virtually lighting my computer speakers on fire. Zack Morris and Bash walk into a women's holding facility where an infinite number of skanky crackheads begin to howl at Zach Morris and Bash's asses.

If you have watched any of this show, you know that Zach Morris actually is Bash. This does not sit well with me. The tall handsome blonde guy with the normal nose is second billed? I call bullshit. Therefore, in this blog entry, Franklin=Zach Morris and Bash=the guy from Road Trip.

Zach Morris and Road Trip walk up to two hot sluts in their holding cell. These gently tainted ladies are former strippers that teach an in-home stripperobics class to rich housewives. I'm putting on a mental hazmat suit just thinking about it. Apparently, they drugged these drunk housewives and stole their jewelry.

I won't bore you with all the crap leading up to the end of the trial, but there were a lot of videos of strippers holding on for dear life to a pole in the middle of a room.

Turns out, the whores are innocent... AND HAVE BOYFRIENDS (Sorry Zack and Bash!).

Also there was a cub scout with a real dork for a dad.

I can't figure out what the hell episode this is because TNT numbered the four available episodes as 105, 106, 5, and 6. These are four different episodes. What the hell TNT?

Overall, it was the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Cheers!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Alright!

I guess I'm taking a break for a while. School is a bitch.

In the mean time...
Come see Metallagher. We have two upcoming shows:

11/08/2009 03:00 PM - Fun Fun Fun Fest
403 E 15th St
Austin, Texas 78701
Cost:$75 or $45 for 1 day pass
Description:A two day festival with acts appearing on four
stages.
A mix of music andcomedy with performances by:
Jesus Lizard,
Danzig, MC Chris, RATATAT, Brian Posehn, Destroyer,
Whitest Kids You Know, Riverboat Gamblers, Metallagher,
and many more...
http://www.funfunfunfest.com

12/10/2009 08:00 PM - Station 4 -
WITH THE REAL GALLAGHER!

201 E 4th St
St. Paul, Minnesota 55101
Cost:$20 seating/$10 Standing Room
Description:Gallagher (the real Gallagher that you grew
up with)is touring across America and making a stop in
St. Paul where he will be performing on the same stage
as Metallagher. Maybe he can show us a thing or two.
This is not to be missed!
This is THE REAL GALLAGHER and THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
Ticket Info (copy and paste this link into your browser):
http://bit.ly/18TYav


-Pete





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Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota

If you can spare 7 minutes, I'd highly suggest taking the time to release your cares in the world and give a listen to one of the most epic songs ever created.  It's by "Weird Al" Yankovic, and it's entitled "The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota."



Before last week I hadn't heard this song since I was about 11 or 12 years old.  The sheer brilliance of the song prompted me to do some further investigating.

I was able to dig up an explanation of this BIGGEST BALL OF TWINE, located in Darwin, MN:

Turns out that it was made by a guy named Francis A. Johnson.  Despairingly, I see no mention of "who he was trying to impress," "where he got the twine," or other answers to Weird Al's compelling questions about Francis A. Johnson.  

What it must have been like to have been that man.  Such a glorious American hero.

Johnson even kicked the crap out of some other guy from KANSAS who tried to beat his twine ball record.  Guess what happened to that guy?  He fuckin' died.  He couldn't even finish the job.

Towards the end of the song, Weird Al speculates that if you were unravel this ball of twine it would stretch all the way out to Fargo, ND.  I decided to do the math.

According the article, the ball was somewhere over 1,600,000 feet of twine.  Google maps says that the distance from Darwin, MN to Fargo, ND is 205 miles, which comes out to 328 million feet.

As much as I would love to believe that this brilliant mountain of twine would stretch this distance, I'm sad to say that it falls quite short.

:: Thanks ::

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Update:
There is Twine Ball Wallpaper available for your desktop too.



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TWINE BALL FACT:

If you're as curious as I am, here's Slim Whitman.  He was mentioned in the song, I had never heard of him, and now I wish I hadn't.


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TWINE BALL FACT:

In this song they stay at the Twine Ball Inn.  This is an actual place located near the Twine Ball.



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TWINE BALL FACT:
The song claims that there are 21,140 pounds of string in the biggest ball of twine, yet the web site says that there are only 17,400 pounds of string.

I'm going to have to make a trip there to see who is correct.


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Where Do They Get It Right? :: Intelligent Design

Welcome to part two of an infinite part series of entries on Evolution, Intelligent Design, Neo-Darwinism, Academic Freedom, Creationism, and Teaching The Strengths and Weaknesses of Scientific Theories.

As before, I will try my best to point out where a group actually has some validity and give them credit.  I want to be as balanced as I can in this series, but I realize that I have my biases.  Therefore I need YOU to point out where I'm wrong.  Let's work together on this, Team.

Today's Topic: Intelligent Design!

Intelligent Design (ID) is the belief that we can scientifically detect intelligence in nature.  

ID proponents often make analogies to illustrate their point.  Mount Rushmore is an example of an analogy that is commonly used.  

The claim is that if you look at Mount Rushmore, you know that there is a lot more going on than just a mountain.  Even if you were an alien from outer space that landed on this planet, you could tell that it was not something that just happened naturally.

Another major claim that ID proponents push is Irreducible Complexity (IC).  IC is more scientific and breaks the anatomy of life down to the cellular level.  According to IC there is a limit to what is capable of evolving.  Highly coordinated biological systems like the endocrine system are too complex to have evolved through natural selection, non-random mating, gene flow, genetic drift, and mutation.

ID proponents claim that life requires a designer to have evolved.  They use the previously mentioned analogies and IC, in addition criticizing the current science of evolution, the big bang theory, chemical evolution, biogenesis, and geology to make their point.  ID proponents believe that life at the molecular level is too complex to have arisen through natural causes.

Most of my information on ID will come from The Discovery Institute's web site and podcast.  The Discovery Institute is an organization devoted to developing and promoting ID as a scientific theory.  Unlike other web sites or movies like Expelled, The Discovery Institute often uses real and current science to try to prove their point, making their arguments more valid and credible.

Intelligent Design:  Where Do They Get It Right?
Despite what skeptics and atheists say, Intelligent Design is not creationism.  It attempts to be a legitimate scientific theory, and is more broad than creationism.  Intelligent Design proponents can be members of any religion including agnostic and atheist, whereas creationists are primarily Jewish, Muslim, and Christian.

ID only attempts to find intelligence in the design of nature.  The interpretation is then up to the student to decipher for themselves.  For theists, the original designer may be their god.  For non-theists, the designer could be extra terrestrial.  Since ID can have natural explanations, it's difficult to argue that ID = religion. 

The Discovery Institute does not endorse the teaching of ID in the classroom.  According to the Casey Luskin of the ID The Future podcast, the Discovery Institute advised the Dover school board against teaching ID in the classroom during the famous Kitzmiller v. Dover trial in 2005.  The Discovery Institute's stance is that ID needs to be developed as a strong theory first.  Once enough sufficient evidence has been gathered, the theory will be too strong to be rejected by school boards.

There are also some misconceptions about the Dover trial that atheists and skeptics frequently get wrong.  The book titled Of Pandas And People is a biology text book that teaches ID.


During the trial, it was shown that previous copies 
of this text book contained the words "Creator" 
and "Creation." Later drafts had those words 
replaced with "Designer" and "Design." The 
interpretation was that the book was a creationist 
text that had been converted to an Intelligent 
Design text, and therefore 
Intelligent Design = Creationism, and teaching 
Creationism is unconstitutional. However, if we 
look at the content of the book, there is no 
mention of Adam and Eve, religion, talking snakes, 
Towers of Babel, or anything else remotely biblical 
in the original texts. The word "creator" is not 
necessarily synonymous with God, but this was 
how it is interpreted by anti-ID groups.

Intelligent Design:  Where Do They Get It Wrong?
Irreducible Complexity (IC) is the most compelling argument that ID proponents have.  The biochemistry of the human body is amazingly coordinated.  It's easy to see how someone can conclude that certain biological systems and processes are too complex to have originated from natural selection, non-random mating, gene flow, genetic drift, and mutation.  There is a famous animation made by Harvard University that shows the processes that happen on the inside of a cell.  This video actually appears in the movie Expelled and is used as an illustration of how complex our body really is.



I can't begin to explain how all of this activity evolved 
from single celled organisms that existed 3 billion 
years ago.

We have some idea, but we may never fully understand.

The problem is that IC takes the lack of knowledge of 
an organism's history and concludes that it had to 
have been intelligently designed. There are two 
logical fallacies here (among others): an argument 
from igorance, and a false dichotomy. The argument 
from ignorance is when we try to draw a conclusion 
from a lack of information. In this instance, we don't 
know everything about the evolution of a cell.  
However, the lack of information about our current 
understanding does not equal positive evidence for 
design. A false dichotomy is the assumption that there 
are only two choices. In this case those choices are 
Evolution or ID.

Why can't we have a third or forth choice? Let's get 
creative! Depending on your opinion, the features of 
an organism depicted in the above video could have 
been produced by natural selection, non-random 
mating, gene flow, genetic drift, and mutation.  If you 
disagree, ID doesn't have to be the alternative.  What 
if there is some other natural mechanism that hasn't 
been discovered yet?  Let's pull out out microscopes 
and get thinking rather than drawing something from 
nothing.

Another problem with ID is the constant use of 
analogies to prove the existence of intelligence.  
Let's examine these two situations:

> Humans and aliens can detect that there was 
intelligence behind the creation of Mount Rushmore.  

> Archaeologists find cave drawings and can determine 
that they were made by beings with intelligence. 

These are both examples of identifying human-like intelligence.  Humans can identify natural processes like wind and water erosion, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.  It's rare that someone will go outside after a hail storm to find damage to their car and scream, "Which one of you fucking kids dumped 250 golf balls on my car from the top of my roof and then cleaned up the balls, leaving no evidence behind?"

When we look up at Mount Rushmore, we see the remarkable shape of human faces in the rock.  We recognize that it would be highly unlikely that the wind and rain would have eroded the mountains in such a miraculous way.  This would not be enough for us to make our conclusion that it was intelligently designed.

We would have to ask ourselves, "How else could this have been done?"  In the case of Mount Rushmore, little investigation is needed.  There is a tourist info center nearby that will explain the entire process to you.  We know what human beings are capable of, and we know that humans using sculpting techniques on a large mountain is a more likely explanation than a tornado (or some other natural cause) eroding a mountain into the detailed shape of our forefathers.

In the case of the cave drawings, we need to investigate a bit more.  What was used to make these paintings?  Who could have lived in this cave?  How old are these paintings?  Is there any evidence of ancient inhabitants?  Is it possible that wind could have blown these materials onto the wall in this manner?  Could a paint-like substance have dripped onto the wall this way?

These are all questions that we can investigate and associate with human-like intelligence.

We can't ask these same questions with Intelligent Design.  

"How could a cell have been produced in this complex manner?"

"Who did it?"

"What was the process?"

Intelligent Design admittedly refuses to answer these questions.  According to the Discovery Institute, ID does not study the designer or the processes by which nature has been designed.  Their web site reads, "The scientific theory of intelligent design is agnostic regarding the source of design."

How does the Discovery Institute think that they are going to develop a theory without studying the cause or the process?  

Even if you are a non-theist that believes that aliens somehow planted life here, you'd have to come up with proof of an alien visitation or a mechanism by which aliens were able to synthesize life, and then send it to earth.  

Unless some profoundly compelling evidence arises, I can't see how ID would ever become a solid theory that would be acceptable for teaching in a classroom.

Conclusion:  Intelligent Design Is Not Solid Science And Needs More Evidence
Unfortunately for Intelligent Design, they're building a theory on a pick and choose foundation.  Every theory in science will ask who, what, when, where, and how, but Intelligent Design chooses not to ask the "who" and "how."  Instead, they make poor analogies, attack current science, and in some cases (groups outside of The Discovery Institute) drudge up creationist arguments that have been disproved for decades.

It reflects poorly on the theory to team up with those who are not up to date on the science and the arguments for or against that science.  The Discovery Institute and other groups tend to team up with anyone who will agree with their cause.  I tend to be more sympathetic to people like Michael Behe and Casey Luskin who use current science to gain credibility rather than scare tactics.  Yet The Discovery Institute fully supports and advertises when a movie like Expelled comes out, which has more scary images from the holocaust than actual science.

If The Discovery Institute spent less time supporting propaganda, and more time on science, they might be able to get people to listen to them. 



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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

ABORTION

The only people that read this blog anymore are going out with me, so why not talk about abortion?

There is a guy on YouTube who calls himself The Amazing 
Atheist. I'm not sure how he became so popular, but his videos 
always have a trillion hits, and he's usually just arguing with 
someone about their views on politics or religion. I'm not a big 
fan or anything, but I occasionally listen to what he has to say.

I recently came across this video where he tells a story and talks about abortion:

Now, I'm an atheist and my social views are mostly left-wing, 
but when it comes to abortion I have no idea. How did abortion become a partisan issue? It seems crazy to me that someone 
like The Amazing Atheist would tell a story like this and then 
say, "That kid should have been aborted."

What?

Who has the right to say that?

If a kid was happy for four years and "died happy," fuck it! Let him be happy. He was important to at least one person. Isn't 
that enough? You got a story out of it....?

No one has the right to say who lives and dies.

I've never been able to wrap my head around the pro-choice 
hyper-feminist arguments against abortion. I see bumper 
stickers that say "Keep Your Laws Off My Body" in reference to 
abortion laws. At what point does the baby stop being "your 
body" and have "its own body?" The only definition I've ever 
heard is that the baby is considered alive once it is born.

???

I just don't buy that.

A day before the baby is born it isn't alive? It's brain and 
heart work the same way. Just because it's not floating 
around in a uterus, it's different somehow?

Pro-lifers at least have a decent definition of the beginning 
of life.  "Life begins at conception." That makes sense to 
me. I can see that.

The downside is that in order to be consistent with their 
arguments and avoid slippery-slopes, pro-lifers are against 
fertility clinics and stem cell research.  

I am very much in favor of fertility clinics and stem cell 
research. If someone wants to have a baby and we can make 
it happen scientifically, then I would love nothing more than 
to allow everyone to be able to experience it.

Whatever stem cells are left over after the procedure used 
to be thrown out, but are now available for stem cell 
research.  

The following problem is then the opposite of the "babies 
aren't alive until birth" argument. Is a six day old clump of 
cells with no brain function considered a baby? Is it wrong 
to use these cells for the advancement of medicine and well 
being? I feel that there is no harm being done here. There 
is no pain inflicted or brain activity that is being terminated.

To conclude, I don't know if there is an answer to abortion 
that makes sense to me. I think it's a very grey-area issue 
with a lot of angles to consider. Abortion should not be a 
partisan issue. It is an ethical issue.

What do you think... America (the two of you Americans that 
read this blog)?

What am I missing?


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Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Matrix and Viruses

In the first Matrix movie Agent Smith has a short speech about humans:



"I'd like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species, and I realised that humans are not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every resource is consumed. The only way for you to survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern... a virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer on this planet, you are a plague, and we... are the cure."

This quote used to bother me a lot because I thought it was true, and if you think about it for a second (not knowing anything about viruses) you might be convinced.

However, the more I learn about viruses the more I feel great about the fact that humans are not like viruses.

First off, humans are not mammals? What the hell? We have mammary glands! That's what a mammal has! When you classify a species you can use different systems, but our classifications (the ones that make sense) are mostly based on DNA, common ancestry, and morphological features like homologous structures. Behavior can come into play, but it's a bit of a stretch to say that humans are the only scavengers. Every species exists to survive and will hoard, kill, destroy, and migrate to a new area in order to do so. Humans just happen to be really damn good at this, making us extremely successful as a species.

Next, "every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with its surrounding environment?" Kinda... except that humans do this too. Our natural environment is everywhere that isn't the north or south pole, the moon, the sun, etc. We build houses... so do birds, squirrels, and beavers. We just happen to be lucky enough to be able to manipulate our environment a bit better than most organisms. Plus it's a bit of a stretch to say that mammals instinctively develop a natural equilibrium. They only develop as a species, not individually. They die off if they can't adapt, so the ones that are more adapted to the environment survive and reproduce.

Moving on: humans as viruses. This couldn't be more wrong.

One of the first things that you learn about a virus is that it is debatable whether or not a virus can even be considered a living organism. Living organisms must be able to make their own energy and reproduce. Viruses can make their own energy, but they cannot reproduce. If the entire planet was wiped out except for a million test tubes full of viruses, the viruses would all die a terrible virusy death. They need to hijack a host cell's reproductive mechanisms in order to replicate themselves. That's how they reproduce.

So... depending on your definition, you can have an opinion about whether or not this:



should be classified in the same category as this:



In my opinion, Agent Smith can kiss my wide asshole if he thinks I'm gonna buy that load of crap. Humans are living mammals, and if you think you can come here and threaten to turn me into a battery then you've got another thing coming, DUDE!

I mean, how dumb are you? Humans as batteries? Humans are only 98.6ยบ F and that's on the INSIDE. What kind of efficiency are you expecting to generate from the heat of a person?

Sentinals are sooooooo lame.

:: Thanks ::

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Am I Turning Into a Libertarian?

When I first learned about the Libertarian point of view I couldn't understand it. I used to never understand why people didn't want anything that wasn't liberal. Why can't we tax the hell out of the insanely rich so we can provide services for those who are less fortunate?

I still don't disagree with the morality behind that, but I feel that I'm projecting a personal bias on that point of view. If you're asking me to feel sorry for taxing those who make over $250,000 a year, you're barking up the wrong tree. I don't give a fuck about anything that you have to complain about regarding money if you make that much per year.

But does that make it right? Does that make it American? Is it the idea that our forefathers had in mind when they built the country?

It's tough to say. They had slaves for God's sake.

But more and more, as I listen to the Libertarian point of view, it makes more sense. Our current two party system makes no one happy. As soon as a Conservative gets into office, the Liberals shit their pants and criticize everything about them. Now that we have a Liberal in office, the criticism from the right is nonstop. What we end up with is a moderate compromise. Abortion laws go back and forth, tax laws go back and forth, school curriculums go back and forth, etc. Then no one gets what they want and no one is happy.

I used to think that this moderate compromise was the best solution for the country since everyone got at least a little bit of what they want. There is still a part of me that feels this way. We should be willing to compromise because we are adults. That's how adults behave. But the Libertarian point is that we minimize government involvement (especially at the national level) and people get to decide for themselves what they want to do.

A perfect example of this is Domino's CEO, David Brandon. David Brandon is a Conservative Christian that started his own neighborhood of Christian values where people can live under Christian rules and the drug stores don't sell contraceptives. This sounds like goddamn nightmare to someone like me, but that's what's great about it.

That IS America. Why can't a group of like-minded people get together and say, "We want our own Christian society where the kids learn Creation science instead of evolution, aren't exposed to sex or pornography, R rated movies aren't allowed, and abortion is illegal?" Then those who oppose can open their own community where pot and polygamy are legal. Since taxes would be stripped away, you don't have to worry about money from your pocket supporting things that you don't want. No bail-outs. You just put your money directly into the hands of those who you want to give it to, and it won't be mishandled by any self-righteous politicians.

Everyone gets what they want, and if they don't, they can move a short distance to where they will get what they want. It truly is Power To The People.

This does come with some problems, which I'm not sure how to address. Some people think that privately owned schools are bad, and I'm not sure what to think of it. I don't see how it would be that different from college. Private colleges are their own private entity that set their own standards for education. Obviously if you went to Harvard and got a business degree and the guy next to you went to Community College, you'd have a leg-up in the interview. That's because you get what you pay for, and Harvard has a reputation of high standards.

The difficulty that you'd come across is the issue regarding the poor. I like that we live in a country where if you grow up in a poor family you at least have a government sponsored education, and if you apply yourself enough, you can get into a good school for very little money, do well, and get out of poverty. It's possible that with lower taxes there will be more money to give to charities that would grant scholarships, but I just don't know. I'm not sure that we can know unless it was actually implicated.

Another problem is public roads. I would hate to have privatized roads. I don't want to have to pay a toll just so I can go to work using the freeway. Maybe that could be a tax that gets attached to gasoline.

But while we're on the subject of gasoline, let's stop subsidizing it. Our government uses our tax money to make gas cheaper. I like the idea of getting rid of that and letting gas cost $5 a gallon because it would lower taxes and force us to come up with real solutions to transportation problems. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about paying a toll for going to work because there would be an actual light rail that would take me to my job (there currently is no public transportation that will bring me from my house to my job).

This entry only a scrapes the surface. I'm not saying that I'm a Libertarian. I've decided to stop defining myself to any political affiliation. I think what I think. That's it.

I just think that we might be even more free if we have less federal government and more power to the individual.